The passing memories | Moog Minimoog and Rhodes piano

video upload by MIDERA

"This is my 6th Father's Day as a 'Papa' to my children (well, 7th if you count the one right before my daughter was born?). They have taught me so much. First, I didn't really know how much fear they would bring - fear that something would (and always could still) happen to them. It's a constant struggle that I hope I have for the rest of my life . Second, exhausting they are - but like in a way where you look back and feel joy from that. It's hard to explain, but I suppose it's like anything that is hard but you're proud of. Third - regret. I sit here, now, writing this, with them upstairs playing without me. I should be with them. Or the moments I'm on my phone, not playing with them and recognizing it. I try to do better, but somehow, I never really feel like I do well enough. Fourth, joy. I don't think there's really any greater joy than my kids. They are my greatest source of joy. Fifth, and finally, that it all goes away too fast. Watching my mom and dad pass away in front of my eyes (it was peaceful - but tragic all the same) - I saw all the love and memories just slowly wiped from them. I have those memories, but aging comes so fast, and I can see my kids growing up faster than I'd like them to. Aging just felt 'easier' without kids. I don't know. There's nothing you can do, but then your brain reminds you - they will some day be my age, then someday be older like my parents were when they passed, and they will be in the same place. Hard to comprehend, but I guess I still sit there and think about it.

I don't know much in life - but I do know that my kids are the most important part of it. So, Happy Father's Day to any other father out there. And really to any person who is in that role... I like to tell my wife that Father's Day is meaningless without her."