MATRIXSYNTH: Synth Poem by Zeroc001


Friday, August 21, 2009

Synth Poem by Zeroc001

Our first synth poem via Zeroc001 in the comments of The Crazy Ass Auction Contest.

BTW, if anyone knows how to help with this feel free to comment or email me.

"Native Instruments, dear friend!
I got gripe your way to send
I just paid almost half grand
For Maschine that's not so grand.

Windows 7 doesn't know it
USB port - it don't show it
I installed, installed again
Not a peep heard in the end.

Here I sit all broken hearted
Sweating, angry, eyes are parted
Up all night and up all day
Screaming, muttering I pray.

Should I wipe my drive again?
Reinstall OS in vain?
Cross my fingers, hope and pray
That Maschine will play some day?

Native Instruments, do tell -
Why I paid so much for hell?
Why I get no simple joy
Mashing pads on this cool toy?

Native Instruments, please HELP!
Crash, install, and crash again!
To be honest, in hind-sight,
That's not "crash" I had in mind.

I wish it was oh so simple
Hit a button, hear a cymball
Plug a cable, off I go
Making beats in orange glow.

But alas, I am despaired
My Maschine has not been spared
By the demons of OS
Microsoft to blame, I guess...

Sigh, my dear NI Maschine
Bought you stupidly, once seen
And untested, I might add...
Should have bought blue synth instead.

Anyway, my poem's done
So much vested, money gone.
Guitar Center, those bastards
Told me to just play some records

Spin CDs, or play guitar
Here's a used MIDI Fatar
Here's a Kaoss pad instead
Burry it, Maschine is dead.

I give up. I'm very sad
My Maschine could be my friend
Gary Numan, man eccentric
Once inquired, "Are friends electric?"

If the answer is a "yes"
This "friend" - unresponsive mess
Black and orange, oh so tempting
But our friendship is at ending.

I will place you on ebay
Let someone try (and complain)
Maybe Matrix, seen my ditty
Will send Audio/DJ in pitty.

Maybe I'll have better luck
With it causing cacophonic muck.
Hey Maschine - YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
Still no answer. No "tick tock"."

5 comments:

  1. Oh Native instruments kore
    Could suck even more?
    The hardware itself is great
    But software limitations, I hate
    I love the knobs, buttons and the scroller
    Why can’t the damn thing work like a normal controller

    --
    NI says that you can now use kore as a generic midi controller with Kore 1 and 2 hardware. HOWEVER, the only explanation on how to do it is with the KORE 2 controller which has different button names on it. I have KORE 1.

    AND I AM NOT PAYING $100 to upgrade the software to Kore 2 just to use it as a normal controller.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Why are you using Windows 7?

    1. It's not listed as a supported OS for Maschine
    2. It's not even in final release yet

    You have no one to blame but yourself, Microsoft and NI did their jobs, you chose to blaze your own trail :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. here I sit all broken hearted came to crap but only farted...

    ReplyDelete
  4. seriously though, how's this read:

    "Native Instruments, my dear friend!
    I've got gripe your way to send
    I just paid almost half grand
    For a Maschine that's less than bland.

    Windows 7 doesn't know it
    USB port - it don't show it
    I installed, installed again
    Not a peep heard in the end.

    Here I sit all broken hearted
    Sweating, angry, eyes are parted
    Up all night and up all day
    Screaming, muttering as I pray.

    Should I wipe my drive again?
    Reinstall OS in vain?
    Cross my fingers, hope and pray
    That this Maschine will play some day?

    Native Instruments, do tell -
    Why I paid so much for hell?
    Why I get no simple joy
    Mashing pads on this cool toy?

    Native Instruments, please HELP!
    Crash, install, and crash again!
    To be honest, in hind-sight,
    That's not the "crash" I had in mind.

    I wish it was oh so simple
    Hit a button, hear a cymball
    Plug a cable, off I go
    Making beats in orange glow.

    But alas, I am despaired
    My Maschine has not been spared
    By the demons of OS
    Microsoft to blame, I guess...

    Sigh, my dear NI Maschine
    Bought you stupidly, sight unseen
    And untested, I might add...
    Should have bought blue synth instead.

    Anyway, my poem's done
    So much vested, money gone.
    Guitar Center, those bastards
    Told me go and play some records

    Spin CDs, or play guitar
    Here's a used MIDI Fatar
    Here's a Kaoss pad instead
    Burry it, Maschine is dead.

    I give up. I'm very sad
    My Maschine could be my friend
    Gary Numan, man eccentric
    Once inquired, "Are friends electric?"

    If the answer is a "yes"
    This "friend" - this unresponsive mess
    Black and orange, oh so tempting
    But our friendship is at ending.

    I will place an add on ebay
    Let the buyer try some new ways
    Maybe Matrix, seen my ditty
    Will send Audio/DJ in pitty.

    Maybe I'll have better luck
    With it causing cacophonic muck.
    Hey Maschine - YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
    Still no answer. No "tick tock"."


    I've tried to clean up the meter and rhyme scheme hopefully it scans better now. all in all it didn't need much work at all and kind of reminds me of Poe in a very tongue in cheek kind of way

    ReplyDelete

To reduce spam, comments for posts older than one week are not displayed until approved, usually same day. Do not insult people. For items for sale, do not ask if it is still available. Check the auction link and search for the item. Auctions are from various sellers and expire over time. Posts remain for the pics and historical purposes. This site is meant to be a daily snapshot of some of what was out there in the world of synths.

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