So I found this image of the Metasonix Agonizer on this VSE post of stuff for sale including a Realistic MG-1, Nord Lead 2, Akai S612, and a couple of other pedals. I don't remember checking out the Agonizer before, so I head over to Metasonix for more info. It's not listed as a current product but I did find the manual in the support section. I take a look and the first thing in the manual is:"AAAGGGGHHH!!!!!
YOU SLIME!
YOU PERVERTED ANUS-MAGGOT!!
YOU ACTUALLY BOUGHT ONE??!??
WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU???"
Eventually followed by:
"The Agonizer is great for driving the bloody hell out of a tube guitar amp, but don't whine at US if it blows your speaker's cone across the room.... Because of the construction techniques required, the Agonizer cannot be kicked around like a fuzzbox. You WILL BREAK A TUBE if you kick it around. And thereafter, we will kick YOU around, shortly after charging you a large amount of money to fix the damn thing.The Agonizer is for the DISCIPLINED, intelligent, non-risk-averse musician. It is NOT SUITABLE for drunken/stoned bozos who play dude-guitar in Creed cover bands. Dude! MAN! Like, it SUCKS, right? (Getting the damn PICTURE yet??)"
Suddenly it all makes sense...
I have to admit, I found the image of the cone flying accross the room pretty funny. Aah! My eye!
Update via phloem in the comments: "The TX-1 Agonizer art was done by Sarah Combs."
Update via Dave in the comments: "I am happy to say I provided about a dozen custom illustration for the TX-2 Butt Probe manual, and my soul still aches from the process. Easily the filthiest shit I've ever drawn in my life."
Now it really makes sense. Dave did The Packrat series and Retarded Animal Babies. Be sure to check out Retarded Animal Babies for some cute, wholesome toons. You can find more of Dave's work on UMOP.com.
well if you like the agonizer collateral materials...check out their Eric Barbour's Metasonix Butt Probe ....http://www.metasonix.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=19&Itemid=34&PHPSESSID=0e6cb9a81254463984ef3d9d3fe12a41
ReplyDeleteScrew Your Guitar ...
You're a GUITARIST, aren't you? Then you must really enjoy your anus-stretching exercises. And now, for the perfect gift for ALL you butt-guitarists: introducing the ultimate anus stretching applianc
Hahaha... the cone flying is funny! But the agonizer looks good! I am in Budapest, involved in the Sziget Festival and the party here kicks ass! Thanks for all the resourceful site!
ReplyDeleteSame guy from the sunny island of Singapore or how the Hungarian puts it: Szingapur
Ciao
I am happy to say I provided about a dozen custom illustration for the TX-2 Butt Probe manual, and my soul still aches from the process. Easily the filthiest shit I've ever drawn in my life.
ReplyDeleteThat was my Agonizer. I guess it's off to a third owner now. It's too bad the seller doesn't fix it before selling it. It's not such a complex machine, should be easy to troubleshoot.
ReplyDeleteWhat a rude sound it produces though! The secret to the TX-1 is to learn how to use it in a subtle manner. It's easy to make it self-oscillate with a loud burning blast of electronic diarrhea, but getting useful tones out of it is a challenge. It is capable though, and a very unique peice. The only reason I sold it was to fund the rackmount Metasonix TS-21 I have now.
Trip Dave. I didn't know that.
ReplyDeleteThe TX-1 Agonizer art was done by Sarah Combs.
ReplyDeleteWhoops, I linked to the wrong gallery. But you can easily find her art on the same webpage.
ReplyDeleteThanks, post updated with both.
ReplyDeleteThere goes the Christian rock market, gifts from parents, store displays, magazine advertising and users who would buy things like these but stopped short when they saw the name.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant marketing.
Always offend your buyers and limit your advertising.
dude, he only made 100 of them. Do you think he really cared about advertising?
ReplyDelete